Technology is everywhere. It is in our homes, it is in our schools, it is in our churches and somehow it has ended up in the hands of most children all over the United States. I understand that technology is necessary now days and that there is a place for it but we need to stop this technology overload that we are doing to our society especially our children. We need to take back the reigns of a technological society and see what it is really doing to our kids.
***Before I type the rest of this post I do want to state that I am not a researcher and that anything I say I am basing purely on my observation unless it is cited with a quote from a researcher. I am however a mother of a 6 year old boy and I have been a Kindergarten teacher for 13 years so I have interacted with my fair share of children throughout my life.
Key notes
What technology does to a child’s development
How many times do you see a baby under the age of 1 glued to a smartphone while out to eat at a restaurant? Have you ever seen a 3 year old laying on the couch watching endless YouTube videos instead of playing with their room full of toys? How about kids all together in a room each on their smartphone or tablet texting each other or playing games? I have seen it more times than I can even count and I’m sure you have too.
What is wrong with that you ask?
Some people may not see anything wrong with it, some parents may see it as a break for them, some may see it as kids learning how to use technology BUT do you know how I see it as a parent of a 6 year old boy and a Kindergarten teacher? I see it as kids missing out on key developmental stages in their lives, I see it as kids missing out on important social skills, kids missing out on how to learn to behave in public, kids missing out on using their imagination to solo play with their toys, kids missing out on learning how to cope with being bored, kids missing out on learning how to socialize with peers, learning how to share, and just being kids. They may be learning how to use technology but is it really worth them missing out on all of the key milestones they learn as a kid?
What I have seen as a Kindergarten Teacher
I began teaching in 2011 so technology was on the rise during that time however smartphone and tablets were still pretty expensive and they didn’t make as many kid friendly options. During my first few years of teaching my students were different than what they are now. Majority of them knew how to play together, they socialized and interacted with each other well, they were ok with having a few minutes of down time to rest or just have think time about what they had learned that day and then all the sudden something CHANGED! In 2019, Amazon Launched the Kindle Fire for Kids. What I’m sure most people thought would be a great way for kids to read books online quickly turned into a way for kids to download apps, watch videos and play games. The Kindle Fire for Kids wasn’t very expensive and it was durable enough for kids but what was meant to be a great thing simply started a small crisis in our society even though most people probably don’t see it that way. Kids now cannot focus. If it is an activity that is longer than 5 minutes they are bored. If it isn’t all flashy and attention getting they don’t listen. Bad behaviors have increased tremendously, kids don’t know how to talk to other students or adults, they have missed out on key developmental items on how to function in society. I’m not trying to be mean or to call people out I just want people to realize what I see.
What I see as a parent
As a parent I see things a little differently. My son is 6 years old and he does not have his own smartphone or tablet. He does have a chromebook that he has ABC mouse on and PBS kids. He is allowed to play on it for 15-20 minutes at a time but honestly he hardly ever ask for it. One thing I see as a mother that breaks my heart is my son going to play with other kids( some younger, some older and some the same age) and him playing by himself because they are on their phones instead. We have been places before and he has asked me to leave because no one will play with him because they are too busy watching garbage on YouTube instead of interacting and playing with each other. My son is missing out and getting to play hot wheels or make believe with other kids because they don’t know how to and our too busy with technology. Kids are missing out on being kids. Another thing I notice as a parent is how many times we are out in public with our son and we are stopped by random strangers and told how well our son is behaved. We always hear “my grandson will never sit that still without a phone” or “we can’t even take our kids in public because they don’t know how to act”. I mean really how sad is that? You can’t take your kid out because they don’t know how to act. Instead of parents using the time to teach their child how to sit at a restaurant or act in a store they are just throwing a smartphone at them so they can have some peace and quiet. Don’t get me wrong we can all use some peace and quiet but this isn’t the place to sacrifice teachable moments for your child.
A time and a place for technology
I am not saying that there isn’t a correct time and place were technology can be beneficial but it has to have limits. Like I said previously my son has a computer that has ABC mouse and PBS kids. Both of these things are educational and help him learn letter, numbers, science, etc. His computer has parental controls on it to where he cannot get on YouTube or accidently get on any other sites on the internet. Learning games are great for kids but you can’t just throw a kid on a phone or tablet and not pay attention to them for hours. They need social interaction to grow and learn even more. We let our son use these things a couple of times a week and honestly some weeks he never even ask to get on it.
I also want to make it clear that I’m not saying to never ever give your kid a phone or tablet. There has been times my son has used it. He loves to FaceTime his grandparents and other family members. He also had to be allergy tested so we let him watch an episode of Mickey while he had to lay flat for 30 plus minutes. Like I said there is a time and place for it but it shouldn’t be your kids go to.
What we can do to change society
This technology overload has to stop and it is up to us as parents to put a stop to it. We need to limit screen time and when I mean limit I don’t mean take it from 3 hours a day to 2 hours. I mean limit it! Only let them use it for 20 minutes and as a reward. If they aren’t doing good in school, don’t do their chores, are being rude DO NOT LET THEM HAVE IT! Don’t compromise! Stand strong! I promise you it is worth it in the long run. Is it easier to just throw a kid a phone instead of listening to the scream? Absolutely, but what good is that doing the child.
We as parents need to start putting more focus on our kids and less focus on ourselves. Notice I said WE! I am guilty too. I am guilty of scrolling through Facebook myself instead of sitting and playing with my son. We need to prioritize our kids needs and not just making sure they are fed and clean but making sure we are teaching them the social skills they need, the life skills they need and just how to be a kid. We need to let them be kids. Let them grow and learn in a technology free zone. We need to let them experience different emotions, let them experience failure, let them be bored, let them play, let them help us do chores, let them help us cook dinner even if it is harder, let them be part of our lives but most importantly LET THEM BE KIDS!
My challenge to each and everyone of you reading this is to limit technology in your home. Have technology free dinners, phone free movie nights, play board games with your kids, go outside for a walk, read a book, take them to church and just enjoy life with your children. They are only little once.
It is our job to make sure are children are getting what they need and teaching them how to interact and be a good human.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.
Raising good kids makes good adults.
